I Laughed Hysterically.

I was talking to a friend yesterday who told me that he used to weigh 55 pounds more than what he currently weighs. Looking at him now, he appears to be fantastically fit. He is 6'2" tall, 190 lbs., plays golf on the regular, and is involved in weekly basketball and football leagues. So naturally, I asked him how in the world he got his chubba-wubba on!? ("chubba-wubba" is courtesy of Gretchen on the Real Housewives of the OC.)
He graduated from college and started an office job, where he was sitting for 9 hours a day and eating like there was no tomorrow. He went on to describe an average day. I had no idea what was coming my way. It went something like this:

Breakfast - Breakfast Burrito from the roach coach at the office with a Coca-Cola (not diet)
Mid-morning snack - (i'm laughing just hearing the words mid-morning snack) a donut or maybe a bag of M&Ms and another Coca-Cola.
Lunch - Chicken Fried Steak with double mashed-potatoes and white gravy (probably) with a Coca-Cola or three. Double mashed potatoes means that he had to consciously change the order from vegetables.
Dinner - something in the neighborhood of Hamburger Helper, Tacos, smothered (not just regular) pork chops, meatloaf, or something fattening..

So I'm crying laughing by this point. He ends the story with "I figured out that I was eating about 5,500 calories a day." OH MY GOD! I died.  This is straight comical. Needless to say, I'm still laughing about it.
The fairy tale ending here is that he lost the weight in a matter of 5 months. We'll just call him Superman from now on. His secret, you ask? A SlimFast for breakfast, a Dinty Moore microwave cup for lunch, and some Hamburger Helper for dinner. Now that's impressive.